C & J 11.7.09

Dear Meg,

"Sorry I love you!"

Your friend for ever,
Carly Joi

Full Moons

I like full moons for several reasons but mostly because they remind me of a big, bare ass. Be honest, butts are funny...especially naked asses. Anyway, a second reason I am so fond of full moons is because they make me think of the times I have been eye to crack with them. There was the time my junior high crush mooned me off the back of the school bus ( i was so in love), and the time I saw my friend's ass across the bar (i was so humiliated), oh, and the time I walked in on my pa--- JUST JOKES! That's gross. Seriously, when I feel depressed I just make people pull their pants down. All is good in the neighborhood once they kindly oblige. So I know I seem a bit obsessed with asses, but if you knew me, you would understand (not that that fact alone makes my obsession okay or normal, but play along, for my sake). Butts are my one and only fetish. If loving and appreciating a juicy rump is wrong, I DON'T want to be right. You can quote me on that.

Technology

I love computers. Even more, I love getting to go places where I can learn more about their role in education. Recently I was fortunate enough to go to Copper Mountain, CO for the TIE conference. If you have not ever seen the mountains for real, you must go now. The backdrop of the conference was incredibly breathtaking, but the experience was so much more. Usually I have something smart to say, but not this time. I had the best time of my life.

Summer storms are sweeter than sweet

For those of you who don't know me, I have the condition commonly referred to by Americans as ADD. Anyone who knows me would tell you that I have a severe case of the (a for)mentioned condition. Whatever the case may be, I often find myself lying awake an night contemplating stupid shit that is meaningless and has no right even passing through my abstract thought process, especially when all I am trying to do is sleep.

It's not that I am not tired. I am worn the fuck out! Regardless, my mind seems drawn to the most obscure and nonsensical things. It's not that I am lazy, on many occasion I have counted sheep forward, backward, by twos and by thirds. Then I start obsessing about the facial expression the sheep are striking when they jump over the fence...it is completely ridiculous and I am extremely embarrassed to admit that this is, in fact, my nightly reality.

Anytime I can fall asleep without focusing all of my exhausted attention on the act, I feel a sense of accomplishment when I awake the next morning. Sometimes I even pat myself on the back. But last my favorite bedtime thing happened. I went to bed as the thunderstorm was rolling in...it was great, the wind was picking up, the leaves on the trees were rustling, plastic furniture was getting tossed around on porches. Overall, a nice, strong wind. I love storms, so naturally, all of my senses were heightened. Then the thunder began. Boom boom pow (that's how it sounds in my head), and I counted to six before I saw lightning. Again, (will.i.am), and I counted up to five before I saw lightning.

That was the last thing I remember.

I was out cold. I missed the rest of the fantastic summer storm and I was especially pissed throughout the day because people kept referring to the thunderous storm that woke them from their peaceful sleep. I gave them all a dirty look and then walked away. I'm still jealous.

Happy Belated Birthday, America!!!

Another "Fourth" has come and gone, and all I have to show for it are a couple strangely placed bruises, embarrassing text messages in my outbox, and a beautiful white dress adorned with pink lemonade spills and mustard spots. Damn good holiday if you ask me. Yet another successful celebration of our country's day of independence.

So seeing as I had waaaay too much fun last weekend, I didn't actually get around to appreciating the meaning of this summer holiday. My thought process finally returned to normal on Wednesday morning and contemplated the importance of America's independence in the context of our present lives and I came to the conclusion that America is one hot bitch. When I say bitch, I say it in the most feminist sort of way. Bitches Rule!

It sounds cheesey (I KNOW!) to toast to our "great country and our freedom and the land of opportunity, blah, blah, blah" but really, we are incredibly lucky, I love America, and there is no better way to show it than partying your ass off for a week before you appreciate it. Happy Belated Birthday America!

Just say yes!

Today while I was steppin' with R. Kelly I came to a realization that inspired me. Life is funny and needs to be taken with a humorous spirit. KEEP READING, I'M NOT DONE YET, and, if you happen to be cool by any standards, i promise you might find something i write to be funny...eventually). Simple things need to be taken less seriously: instead of pretending like every single thing that happens is waaaay important, take a step back to realize the things that happen for what they are, hilarious opportunities.

For example, a CTA bus ran over my foot today, and instead of crying and complaining, I made a choice. A choice to be a better person, if only for an instant, and I laughed. Let me tell you, it felt really f-ing good to laugh. Then I punched the bus driver in the face. No, no, only joking. About everything, actually. I couldn't think of a good real-life example to illustrate my point. But I think you get it now.